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Down & Out [Mar. 18th, 2008|03:43 am]
 



This is the shit when you have too much to deal with. 
Pop em into the oven for 15 and you can waste 15 mins forgetting your troubles a lil while.

Okay nuff about stupid fries, which are possibly the only stuff I could handle right now. 

I cannot remember the last time I was upset like this and the last time i cried, big time was really, quite long ago.
Like, in Shanghai or something. 

& now, I think crying solves nothing, nothing in the motherfucking world.
But then again when you see people tear for you, it's a whole new different thing. 

& I have simply no idea why I always manage to make people worry about me & not have faith in me. 
Seriously, I had no problems with commitment just a while ago. I could put my life to doing just 1 single thing I believed and loved.

& then, I think overnight, I was forced to grow up. Like I was thrown into not having anyone fend for me anymore, for the person who defended me for 14 years of my life, the most special person was taken away. 
I think faith ceased to exist ever since.

I think growing up too fast, too furious took away the fantasies and dreams that could have made me half a better, nicer person.
I don't plan to change, I don't. Cos, if I do, the you, in me, would be gone & i could never find it back again. 

Wind Beneath My Wings, Now You, Soar & Fly. cos I'm done with we.

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For those you love, you sacrifice [Mar. 18th, 2008|01:37 am]

What if we, no longer are we? 
When this happens, we move on, as individuals.

Pick up, don't fall down. 

Why do people fall out? 
Do people pick the pieces that don't belong anymore?

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Now, why? [Mar. 17th, 2008|02:15 am]
Why, would anyone, in the world only ask for a pass? Now, really. 

When we'd be getting More than one. 
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Not fucking it up. [Mar. 13th, 2008|02:51 pm]

Bare naked.

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Everybody needs a Good old Baking [Mar. 8th, 2008|01:06 pm]
 




Baking soda has officially saved my life. I'm never NEVER gon do glue-bond extensions everrrrr again, PFFT. In singers, glue-bond extensions cost $3-$5 per lock, mother fucking expensive.  I paid like $150? to have them on, & there's no fucking way I'm spending another #500 bucks to remove em.

So... )

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Of singularity and regularity [Mar. 7th, 2008|03:13 am]

Photo courtesy of ModBlog

I miss being alone, & definitely miss spending time myself. I guess for 8 months, solid, I totally forgot how it felt like to have loads of time for myself; for reflection, for reminisence & for everything that makes me a stronger person. 

& now, I finally realised that I haven't been able to take a back seat, & enjoy life. It is indeed a Singapore thing. 

I miss Shanghai, a lil. It's a year ago (nearly exactly) when I left for Shanghai. & a while ago I was just flippin thru old photos, the Shanghai diary (which was incidentally named after someone special, still special till now.) And i realised how much of a same person I am as of 2007/2008 compared to a ridiculous 2006/2007 disparity. 

I must say I enjoy the days I lounge at home; catch up on a bit of reading, have my diptique burn, read the expat forums, call for damn great deliveries at 4am, enjoy a good cigar at the balcony, then throw the butt down 19 storeys. I absolutely love flipping the pages of vogue and milk mindlessly, my multi-masking sessions with housemate and the silly obsessions with skin care.

& not to forget the wild part of everything. Going to LGBTs, having good fuck dinners every other night, trying out NY hip hop, Attica and not going home. 

I really think that it was a pretty decent 5 months after all. (okay last 3 months). Maybe I'm not much of a wild child afterall, really. I like being an ahpek, waking up early, going for brunches. I don't know, nostalgia! God. 

I miss you(s), Volkov & Ezra. & I thank you for the great time you showed me when I was there. I'm pretty grateful, it was much of a chapter, beautifully written. Never would have thought of. Never, in a lifetime. 

& I could never have imagined that I was so damn capable of settling all the shit I got into. Talk about having commitments and getting involved unneccessarily. 

Now, that I've neglected myself (MY SKIN and my bod) for sooo long, I think it's high time I do something about it. 

But, first I'd think it's a great idea to catch some beauty sleep first. My battle with Dark eye rings. Hur. 

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Run, scream, hide and jump [Feb. 25th, 2008|11:03 pm]
Sometimes, you just want to be alone, and sometimes, you want to have someone there with you, and just look at you. Sometimes, that person forgets that (that person) once used to be able to do so. Sometimes, just sometimes.

Sometimes, the people whom you think can be kept close, cannot be. Sometimes the people, whom you think are a pain, turn out not to be. Sometimes the nicest people turn out to be those whom you never in your life would have expected, sometimes, just sometimes.

And then, there are times when you think you've done well enough but it turns out that you have not. And lets not deny that there were also times when you get more than what you think you deserve. Anyhow, lets just figure that just this time, is not Your time, that it is someone else's "more than they deserve" times. Always, it happens always.

There were moments when you feel like you've never felt better. Yes there definitely, were. Maybe, just not now. Maybe it is? Maybe, just maybe.

Again, sometimes you cannot explain why you act in a way you don't normally do. And that sometimes just scares you to death. Sometimes, you cannot imagine how people tolerate you. Then you realise, people have these sometimes too.

Sometimes, you make the (seem) wrong decisions cos you know it will always be better after. Sometimes, you know you don't have the choice. 

Then, there are sometimes you can just predict everything, Everything good, everything bad. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. There are even sometimes when you know that somethings bad gon happen but you don't stop it, cos you are just too tired.

Sometimes you do stupid things. But afterall they're not that stupid cos, stupid and stupid just makes you smarter.

Sometimes, you feel like hugging someone and never let go, let time stop. Make time stop. Sometimes you just cannot bear another moment with someone. Be it a same or different someone, or a same but different someone.

Sometimes, you never forget something. Sometimes you want to forget something. Sometimes you don't feel good. Other times you feel SO DAMN good. Sometimes you feel like nothing in the world matters. Sometimes you think like sometimes is nothing. and that sometimes is not good enough. But when sometimes becomes everytime, everytime gets worse than sometimes. Sometimes, sometimes cannot be explained. Sometimes we lie. Sometimes we lie. Sometimes we lie. It becomes everytime. 

Sometimes you have so many things on your mind, you just don't know how it holds and sometimes you don't want it to hold. Other times, you just complain why nothing holds. Sometimes, you have nothing on your mind and wonder why nothing is there.

Sometimes, you cannot let go when you must. Sometimes you must let go but you cannot. Everytime, it's just the same. 

Sometimes, things change. Sometimes you want things to change. Sometimes when things change, things are not things anymore.

Sometimes you want simple. Sometimes too simple is too difficult that you make too simple difficult. Then difficult becomes too dificult and want simple. But simple is not that simple anymore and . Well there's nothing more to it, huh? 

Sometimes. you just wonder. Why do you do all the sometimes. Because.

Sometimes, just sometimes.

Sometimes Stacy, sometimes Sally, Sometimes smelly,
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If I Were a Farmer, I'd Be Messy Farms. [Feb. 25th, 2008|01:47 pm]

I seriously need to start being (TRYING TO) tidy. Really.
 
NO MORE

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Yep, you heard me right [Feb. 23rd, 2008|03:16 am]

You know,
  if I fuck, we'd fuck it all up together,
                            all up together, baby.

Rigggght (sigh of relief style), 'tis the crossroad of magick wonders, shit happens & causes at your own risks baby. Lovin it hatin it, imma fuckin havin a rollickin good time babe! I'm a mutherfucking (not literally, just hype) mutherfuckin! graduate babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Woohoo! No more mutherfucking Clementi! 

I'm blinded by the light ahead, really wicked shit comin my way, & yo way cos yo girl Stacy gon mutherfuckin! bring the HOUSE DOWN! ok not really,was lying. (attempt: hype II) 
I can't think straight, i'm high from shit ass workouts. 

loving more free movie downloads! 

FUCK YOU!!!!! (to nobody in particular actually, i just. oh, nevermind!)

Paper Hippos, Paper Johns, Paper Patricks & Paper Stacy , MMmmm mmmmm Nightnight!

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Love a Good Mentaiko Spaghetti [Feb. 17th, 2008|04:12 pm]
 
Photos via Yelp.com.

Mentaiko Spaghetti is the New Wave, New Rave. Woohoo! 

Ingredients:
Mentaiko 
Angel Hair Pasta
Butter
Japanese Kewpie Mayo
Shredded Nori

It's gon be my quick fix, well, till I'm sick of it in.. possibly 2 weeks of eating it everyday. 

& I hate to admit, but i haven't really got down to intensive studying, as much as i hope to. I keep getting distracted with everything, anything  & potentially nothing. 

Till then, it's more Mentaiko spag, more pretending to study & dd's love-ups sushi. 

S
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